Tuesday
of the 20th Week in Ordinary Time
August 18, 2015 11:00am Faculty
As I understand it, the school
theme for this year is peace.
And specifically, it is “Be the
Peace.”
That got me thinking – and
thinking practically.
I think we also glean from the gospel
some practical guidelines for being peaceful and peacemaking in our
relationships.
I want to recommend a few things
and they are all in the area of communication – how we communicate.
Often, maybe most of the time, peace
or the lack of peace starts right there – in our communication.
So, here are a few practical guidelines
that I find helpful.
1. When you have a disagreement
or feel offended by someone, don’t just sit and stew on it.
Go and talk with the person
one-on-one about it.
Talk to the person involved and
not about him or her.
2. When you do this, try to avoid
saying things like,
“You were thoughtless and
insulting.”
And, also try to avoid saying
things like, “You really made me angry.”
Statements like these are
attacking.
They will only put the other
person of the defensive.
They will not be peacemaking.
3. Speak in the first person and speak
of your feelings without attacking the other person’s behavior.
For example, “I really felt hurt or put down or angry when you said that.
I really need to talk this through with you.”
4. Listen.
Listen to what the other person
says in these interactions.
Listen especially when someone is
coming to you with an upset you may have caused.
For that matter, listen to others
in any kind of conversation.
Ask a question to make sure you
understand what they are saying.
And try to understand how they
are feeling – put down, unattended, whatever.
Good listening is always, always
important.
5. Picking up on listening, do
not interrupt others when they are speaking.
And do not be thinking of what
you want to say and just waiting to plunge in as soon as the other person takes
a breath.
Those behaviors are violent.
We may usually not classify them
as such, but they are violent and are at the root of other forms of violence in
our culture.
6. Stick to these rules whether
or not others reciprocate and treat you that way.
Your doing this at least gives
this way chance of spreading and being adopted by others.
This is being peaceful and gives
some chance of peace between you and the other person.
7. These guidelines apply to all
kinds of situations, including problems within the school, among you as a faculty
and administration.
They also apply to our
relationship with parents.
They certainly apply to me and
how I relate to parishioners and groups in the parish.
I hope these ideas have some
value for us as we begin a year trying to “Be The Peace.”
