Solemnity of Mary,
the Mother of God
Cycle B
January 1, 2016 4:00pm
and 8:00am
Saint
Margaret Parish, Bel Air
React versus Respond
One of the questions that I often
ask myself is: Have I reacted or have I responded
to a person?
Did I react or did I respond to a
particular person in a particular situation?
There is a difference and, in fact, it may be a big difference.
Reacting
When we react, we usually act
instantly, maybe emotionally and with little thought or reflection.
For example, someone may angrily
complain to me that our parking here is awful and that I don’t seem to care and
haven’t done a thing to improve it. I
immediately get defensive and fire back and say that they don’t have a clue
what they’re talking about and all they do is complain.
Obviously, that is a purely
fictitious example! Well, when we react
like this, we are in effect letting the behavior of others determine our
behavior.
Maybe I usually try to listen and
understand the other person’s perspective.
But instead of that, here I let the other person’s upset shape what I
do.
When I or we react, we just let
go emotionally and maybe thoughtlessly. We
don’t do any inner processing and usually end up doing something that is not
constructive and just makes things worse.
Responding
Now, the alternative is to
respond.
This means that when we feel
offended by others or are upset by what they have done, we first go within
ourselves. We try to be slow enough and
silent enough to get in touch with who we really are.
We get in touch with our truest
and deepest identity and that means that we get in touch with God. I say this because God is at the core of our
being and the Holy Spirit is within us.
All this may take a few seconds
or a minute or in big upsets it may take some hours. But when we do it, we can then act out of our
true inner self, out of the presence of the Lord, and not just react to what
has happened out there.
So maybe with the person
complaining about the parking, I can go within myself and get in touch with the
Lord. Maybe I can then perceive the
frustration the person is experiencing and maybe their frustration is also about
other things in their lives and not just parking.
Maybe I can say: “This must really be frustrating for
you. I am really sorry about that.”
Responding like this takes real
strength. Frankly, reacting is the
easier thing to do and is sometimes seen as the “strong” thing to do.
But it is responding that really
requires strength and we can get that strength from the Lord who is within us. Responding like this, unlike reacting, at least
creates the possibility of relationship and of constructively dealing with
whatever the issue may be.
Mary as a Model of Responding
I share
all of this because I see Mary whom we honor today as a model of responding.
When
the angel tells Mary that she very unexpectedly and mysteriously will bear a
son, she must have lots of feelings. But
she does not react with anger that her own vision of life is being upset.
Instead,
Mary responds from within herself, out of her faith and trust in God. And in today’s gospel, it says that she keeps
all these things in her heart and reflects on them.
So,
Mary lives an inner life with God and this prayerful, reflective spirit enables
her to respond and not react. In this,
she is a good example for us.
