Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God, Cycle B - January 1, 2016

Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God
Cycle B
January 1, 2016  4:00pm and 8:00am
Saint Margaret Parish, Bel Air


React versus Respond


One of the questions that I often ask myself is:  Have I reacted or have I responded to a person?

Did I react or did I respond to a particular person in a particular situation?  There is a difference and, in fact, it may be a big difference.  

Reacting


When we react, we usually act instantly, maybe emotionally and with little thought or reflection.

For example, someone may angrily complain to me that our parking here is awful and that I don’t seem to care and haven’t done a thing to improve it.  I immediately get defensive and fire back and say that they don’t have a clue what they’re talking about and all they do is complain.

Obviously, that is a purely fictitious example!  Well, when we react like this, we are in effect letting the behavior of others determine our behavior.

Maybe I usually try to listen and understand the other person’s perspective.  But instead of that, here I let the other person’s upset shape what I do.

When I or we react, we just let go emotionally and maybe thoughtlessly.  We don’t do any inner processing and usually end up doing something that is not constructive and just makes things worse.

Responding


Now, the alternative is to respond.

This means that when we feel offended by others or are upset by what they have done, we first go within ourselves.  We try to be slow enough and silent enough to get in touch with who we really are.

We get in touch with our truest and deepest identity and that means that we get in touch with God.  I say this because God is at the core of our being and the Holy Spirit is within us.

All this may take a few seconds or a minute or in big upsets it may take some hours.  But when we do it, we can then act out of our true inner self, out of the presence of the Lord, and not just react to what has happened out there.

So maybe with the person complaining about the parking, I can go within myself and get in touch with the Lord.  Maybe I can then perceive the frustration the person is experiencing and maybe their frustration is also about other things in their lives and not just parking.

Maybe I can say: “This must really be frustrating for you.  I am really sorry about that.”

Responding like this takes real strength.  Frankly, reacting is the easier thing to do and is sometimes seen as the “strong” thing to do.

But it is responding that really requires strength and we can get that strength from the Lord who is within us.  Responding like this, unlike reacting, at least creates the possibility of relationship and of constructively dealing with whatever the issue may be.

Mary as a Model of Responding


I share all of this because I see Mary whom we honor today as a model of responding.

When the angel tells Mary that she very unexpectedly and mysteriously will bear a son, she must have lots of feelings.  But she does not react with anger that her own vision of life is being upset.

Instead, Mary responds from within herself, out of her faith and trust in God.  And in today’s gospel, it says that she keeps all these things in her heart and reflects on them.


So, Mary lives an inner life with God and this prayerful, reflective spirit enables her to respond and not react.  In this, she is a good example for us.