3rd Sunday of Lent – Cycle B
March 3, 2024 – 5pm
Our Lady of Grace Parish, Parkton
Anger
So, a question: do you ever get angry?
I admit that I feel angry at times. I don’t think I have to share what or whom I get angry at, but at times I do feel angry.
And probably we all feel angry at times. Today I want to share a few thoughts about this.
It is probably obvious that today’s gospel where Jesus is angry at the hypocrisy of some people leads me to this topic.
What to Do with Our Anger?
The first thing I want to say is that anger is a universal human emotion.
I was taught in my younger years that anger was bad and that I should confess it in confession. I have come to understand that anger in itself is not a bad thing.
Like other human emotions, it is in us and is just part of our humanity. The issue is not whether we feel angry.
The issue is what we do with our anger. The trick is that the actions or words that can flow from it need, to some extent, to be controlled.
From my reading, I am seeing three steps that are a process for dealing with our anger as God wants us to deal with it. These three steps all begin with the letter R: 1) Restrain, 2) Reframe, and 3) Respond.
1. Restrain
First, we are to restrain our anger.
This doesn’t mean that we try to deny it or suppress it. We are not to pretend that we aren’t angry.
The Book of Proverbs in the Old Testament says this. “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back” (Proverbs 29:11).
So, we don’t just let it all hang out. We don’t instantly get in the face of the person who triggers us.
As the old saying goes, we count to ten. We first restrain our anger to try to deal with it in God’s way.
2. Reframe
Then, second, we often need to reframe our anger.
This action really flows from the restraining. The Letter of Saint James in the New Testament says this: “You must all be slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires” (James 1:19-20).
The idea is that we look inside ourselves before lashing out at the other person. We get in touch with what we are really angry about.
For example, am I angry because someone cut me off in traffic, or am I really angry because I have been feeling generally disrespected? Again, are you angry because your husband or wife was late, or are you really angry because you feel unimportant and have felt taken for granted?
So, let’s go inside and get in touch with ourselves and our anger before we do anything else. This is what it means to reframe our anger to try to deal with it in God’s way.
3. Respond
And then, third, we respond.
So, on the one hand, we don’t bottle up our anger because it will fester and eventually just boil over. And, on the other hand, we don’t just react.
Reacting means that we instantly say or do something without reflecting about what we are going to say or do. Responding means that we act out of our deeper inner values and beliefs.
So, we get in touch with all that is within us and then express ourselves and our anger in a constructive way. Saint Paul even says: “Now is the time to get rid of anger” (Colossians 3:8).
We pick a time for expressing ourselves that looks workable for us and the other person, and we are mindful of how we say what we are going to say. This is what it means to respond and try to deal with anger in God’s way.
Conclusion
So, there is more that could be said; I have not said everything that can be said about anger.
Let’s just end with this. Anger is a human emotion that is okay but is often challenging to deal with. I think these three R words can at least help us to deal with anger in a God-like or Christ-like way: 1) Restrain, 2) Reframe, and 3) Respond.
Father Michael Schleupner
