Monday, September 8, 2014

23rd Sunday of Ordinary Time, Cycle A - September 7, 2014

23rd Sunday of Ordinary Time
Cycle A
September 7, 2014
Saint Margaret Parish, Bel Air


Correcting Others


Several years ago I read a brief article that has really stuck with me.

A man named Jerome Weidman writes that he was in the third grade, in a public school in New York City.  His math teacher was Mrs. O’Neill.

One day Mrs. O’Neill was grading test papers, and she noticed that twelve boys had given the same unusual, wrong answer to a question.  She correctly assumed that the boys had cheated.

The next day, Mrs. O’Neill asked the twelve boys to stay after school for a minute.  Without accusing them of anything, she simply wrote on the blackboard a quotation from an English author.

The quotation was: “The measure of real character is what individuals would do if they knew they would never be found out.”  Jerome Weidman says that this was the most important lesson in his life.

 

Correcting/Reconciling


That teacher, Mrs. O’Neill, respectfully confronted those boys with their wrongdoing and what she did illustrates the message of today’s readings. 

The passages tell us what to do if we see someone doing something that is either morally wrong or personally offensive.  In the gospel, Jesus gives a three-step process for this.

Step 1: One-on-One

First, Jesus says that we are to talk about the problem one-on-one.

Notice that he says that we are to talk with the person, not about the person.  Now, to be real about it, if we first talk about the person to somebody else, our motive needs to be to prepare to talk with the person in a constructive way.

So, maybe you need to talk with your spouse about the sharing of household responsibilities.  Or maybe you need to talk with a family member who looks like he is into some kind of substance abuse.

When we do this, we need to be respectful, as Mrs. O’Neill was of her students, and definitely not be putting down or proving the other person as wrong and ourselves as right.  We need be to be seeking a positive change of behavior or a reconciliation of the relationship. 

Step 2: Third-Party Assistance

Then, Jesus says that if the other person is closed to looking at the issue, we should ask for the assistance of someone else.

This could mean both parents together talking with a son or daughter about their hanging out with the wrong crowd.  Or it could mean a husband and wife going to a marriage counselor.

There are many times in life when some kind of third-party assistance is required.  There is a humorous Arab proverb that says, “If one person calls you a donkey or a you-know-what, you may pay no attention to that person.

“But if five people call you one, go out and buy yourself…a saddle.”  I think you get the point about the value of third parties.

Step 3: Keep Reaching Out

Finally, for the third step, Jesus says that if someone will not even listen to several people and the problem continues, then treat that person like a tax collector or non-believer.

In the past, we as a Church interpreted this as meaning: have nothing to do with him or excommunicate her.  Today Scripture scholars give us a different insight.

They point out that Jesus continues to associate and have dinner with tax collectors and non-believers.  He never gives up on them.

So here, instead of talking about excommunication, Jesus is talking about communication – and continued communication.  I find it so wise that our Church talks less and less of excommunication.

So maybe someone persists in sinful or harmful behavior or believes differently on some point of faith.  No question, we have to be steady about what we believe is right or true.

And we may have to protect ourselves – as in situations of domestic violence.  But usually, instead of distancing the individual or even labeling the entire culture as evil, Jesus is calling us to keep communicating.


That’s what he does with the tax collectors and non-believers in his day.  And that is what he calls us to do to try to redirect or become reconciled with an individual or a group or an entire culture today.